Everybody Comes from Somewhere

A dear sweet friend of mine recently said that she was trying, unsuccessfully, to find the good in everyone.  Life can be like that sometimes.  And it got me thinking…

I used to work for the federal correctional system in Canada.  Most of my 18-year career there was spent at national headquarters where we studied things like riots, hostage-takings, suicides and murders that took place inside our prisons to see whether they could have been prevented and what lessons we could apply in the future to avoid these things from happening again.

We also did loads of research to develop and deliver treatment programs for inmates and for those who eventually got let out on parole to help them avoid crime in the future.

I also worked for a short time inside a medium-security prison with a caseload of inmates.  It was fascinating and rewarding work. 

People always ask me whether I was afraid.  I wasn’t usually.  These guys were like some of the guys I had gone to high school with.  But they had taken a wrong turn, many wrong turns, and didn’t have the inner strength or the outer support to get back on the right track.  When you looked at their family histories, at how they were raised, you were left saying, “Well, no wonder they ended up here.”

In most cases:

Their parents were not in a position to help guide them as they were alcoholics or drug addicts themselves.  Their home environment was not stable, and their parents were often out of work.

They were abused, either sexually, physically or emotionally.

They did poorly in school.  And they were not one of the lucky few who got taken under the wing by a concerned teacher prepared to go above and beyond the call of duty.

They weren’t involved in organized sports, so they didn’t have the opportunity for a coach to guide them and give them the structure that will sometimes “save” a child who does not have stability at home.

And sometimes, all of the above occurred in response to a tragic event in their life, like the violent death of a parent, sibling or grand-parent.

Two hands holding a lightEvery one of us has come from somewhere.  We were all two-year-olds at one point, running around, laughing, with a shine in our eyes, all the hopes of our parents upon us for a good life, the world being a safe place to explore and play.

And then life happens.

And we turn into who we are.

We are, today, responsible for who we are and the choices we make as a result.

But we can also recognize that everybody comes from somewhere.  That inside every one of us, despite our words, attitudes, grievances, crappy behaviour, hurtful actions, successes, bumps and bruises, scars and weaknesses, there remains a part of that two-year-old.  And the more we can do to find it in ourselves and in others, the better off we will all be. 

It’s a softer, more open view of the world.  And it does not mean being naive.  It simply means recognizing that everybody comes from somewhere.  Even you. 

And there’s grace, humility and kindness in that.

2 Comments

Tanya Nouwens, July 23rd 2010 | Posted in Musings

Sometimes, you need to sell your house to find your home.

I met with a wonderful client today to discuss selling her home and what my analysis showed its market value to be.  She lives here in Kirkland, Quebec.  She called me after getting one of my nifty postcards, saying it was unlike any other she had seen from a real estate agent (mission accomplished!). 

As we spoke, it became clear that she had outgrown her home.  The things that had appealed to her when she bought it — big home, quiet neighbourhood, away from the action, young families around — now imprisoned her, in a way.  Her days of raising little ones were over.  Her grown daughter had a life of her own.  She herself had developed interests and hobbies that weren’t there when she bought her home some 20 years ago.  She wanted more action around her, cafés and people and shopping and the water.  She wants Pointe Claire Village, that much is clear.

But she and her husband had lovingly — and expensively — updated parts of their home over the years.  And she was hoping to get that money back when it came time to sell.

It got me to thinking that, sometimes, you need to throw what seems like common sense, as well as the opinions of others, and what you may have been led to believe is the “right” thing to do RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW and do what’s good for you. 

Six years ago, my husband was painting the garage of our home when my girlfriend called and said, “Hey, I know you’re not looking at all, but my next door neighbour’s house is going on the market.  Why don’t you just come and see it?”  Me to my hubby: “Sweetheart, we’re not going to buy it, obviously, but let’s just go have a look to make her happy.”

So we did.

And we’ve lived there ever since.

We weren’t planning to move.  But the allure of the quality of life this place could offer…which our then-home could not…was so appealing: quiet cul-de-sac within a cul-de-sac, no traffic, loads of kids the same age as ours playing outside, friendly neighbours who actually chatted with each other outside, zoning for a great school, close to parks and the bicycle path, easy access to the highway – just to name a few.

Lady skipper on boatSo we took the plunge.

Despite the increased cost — which we could afford, in the end.

Despite the hassle — I’m NEVER moving again.

Despite the contravention of common wisdom that says you should stay in a house for many, many years – which we chose to rebel against, and took major flak for.

Despite the resistance we encountered from people who said, “Why wouldn’t you be happy where you are?” — Because we knew we could be happier where we were not!

Sometimes, you’ve gotta make the decision that’s right for you, the one that will warm your heart, that will bring out the best in you (or maybe just bring out other parts of you that have not yet blossomed), that will help you lead the kind of life that soothes your soul, wraps around your shoulders like a comfortable blanket on the beach in front of a bonfire at night, and says to you, “You’re home.” 

What feels like home changes over the course of our lives, as our lives change.  And sometimes, you need to sell your house to find your home. 

2 Comments

Tanya Nouwens, July 16th 2010 | Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Real Estate

Boring but Important: Why I Read and Explain Contracts to My Clients

This past week, I had a meeting with a potential client about listing his property.  He is in no particular hurry to sell, but he knows that I have a buyer for his unique property.  A very serious buyer.

We met to sign the exclusive brokerage contract.  We fill in all of the details, as previously negotiated and agreed to.  In the section of the contract on Other Conditions and Declarations, I include the clause that is now supposed to be standard in Quebec real estate:

This is not an offer or promise to sell that could bind the seller to the buyer, but an invitation to submit such offers or promises.

This clause now appears on all MLS listings in Quebec, and we’ve been advised to put it into our brokerage contracts too.  It is based on a recent case whereby the court decided that, even when an offer comes in that meets all of the criteria set out by the seller, the seller is not bound to sell the property to the buyer.

My client is happy.  He likes the disclaimer and the new jurisprudence.  It gives him an out…sort of.  But this does not affect my commission, I tell him.  Should I come through with an offer that meets your price and conditions as set out in the brokerage contract, I am entitled to my commission because the courts have determined that in such cases, the broker has fulfilled her contractual obligations and, as such, is entitled to her compensation as laid out in our contract. 

Iceberg, above and below water

Avoiding disaster means tediously reading the maps.

Oh.  Wait a minute.  He needs some time to think. 

So he’s thinking…and I’m waiting patiently.

No matter what happens, though, I am so glad that I’m a stickler — and take the time to read and explain every clause of every contract to my clients, as boring and tedious as this is each time. 

And I’m glad that I’m still fresh enough out of real estate school to remember what the contracts actually mean.

And that I’m a fraidy-cat — or aware enough of the risks and liabilities involved in selling real estate that I actually read the communiqués put out ad nauseum by our governing association.

Sometimes being a green, stickler-ish fraidy cat is good, no?  It can be tedious in the short-term, but it sure saves aggravation and liability in the long-term.

NOTE:  I am not a lawyer, and this post is not meant to constitute legal advice.  Should you require legal advice relating to real estate, please contact a real estate attorney, or feel free to contact me and I’ll put you in touch with one.

2 Comments

Tanya Nouwens, July 12th 2010 | Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Real Estate

Speechless Sunday: Hup Holland Hup!

We’re ready.

What does an octopus know about soccer anyway?  He was wrong once; he can be wrong again.

My dad would have been so excited.  Wish we were in London today with my crazy Dutch family…or in Newfoundland with the crazier ones : ) 

Hup Holland Hup!

Boys wearing Dutch soccer gearHouse with Dutch soccer banner

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Tanya Nouwens, July 11th 2010 | Tags: ,
Posted in Musings

Happy Canada Day Everyone – And Thanks, Mom and Dad

When my dad was 12, he and his family came across the ocean from Holland to make a new life in Canada.  My grandfather had arranged for his family (wife and 5 children) to help work a farm. They would live on the farm and make their living there.

When they arrived at the port in Montreal, there was a telegram waiting for them. It was from the farmer in Alberta who had hired them. Their work was no longer needed. They were on their own.

Devastated, they eventually found their way to a community near London, Ontario, where other Dutch immigrants were settling.  A year after they settled, my grandfather died of lung cancer. The family was devastated. (Yes, I just used that word twice.) My father was the only boy in the family.  He lost his dad at a critical time in his life.

After a few years of tremendous upheaval, grief, instability and unbelievable difficulty, the family eventually found their way and carved out a new life.

When my mom was 3, her father was taken prisoner by the Russian army.  She was living in a part of Poland that was being taken over by the Russians, and they declared my grandfather a political prisoner.  He was later released to fight in the Second World War, and eventually found his way to Canada. But my mother grew up fatherless in Russia. 

Then in the late 1950s, the Russian government allowed people living in Russia who were of Polish descent to move back to Poland, which is what my mother did with her mom and her brother and sister and their families.  They stayed in Poland for a year, and then came to Canada and were reunited with their father, in London, Ontario.  My mom was 21.

Canadian flag wavingI remember being 13, feeling out of place in my own skin, still such a kid and needing my dad.  I can’t imagine being 13, in a foreign country, without my father.

I remember being 21.  And how hard it was to find my way.  To be confident.  To feel like I belonged somewhere.  To keep up with the ever-changing trends and the styles.  I can’t imagine being 21, landing on foreign soil, not speaking the language, and not knowing what it took to fit in with the culture.

But my parents did it.  And because they did it, and survived, and met each other at a dance at the Polish Hall in London, I am here.  And so are my sister and brothers.

Because of them, I got to grow up in Canada.  This big, beautiful, remarkable, kind, rugged, gentle, welcoming, vast, magnificent, FREE country.  I’m so lucky.

Thank you, Mom and Dad.  For what you gave me, and for what I’m able to give my kids.

Happy Canada Day, everyone.

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Tanya Nouwens, June 30th 2010 | Tags: , , ,
Posted in Musings

I Got a Promotion…and Other Changes to Real Estate Law in Quebec

I got a promotion but I swear I’m not bragging because it has everything to do with changes to real estate law in Quebec and nothing to do with anything I did to deserve the promotion.  But I got it just the same, as did all real estate agents in Quebec.

What happened?  On May 1, 2010, the new Real Estate Brokerage Act came into effect in Quebec.  As part of this, I got a promotion from real estate AGENT to real estate BROKER, as did all real estate agents in Quebec.  Other changes will be implemented over the next 18 months.

Legal gavelHere are some of them:

  • It used to be that real estate agents worked for real estate brokers.  Now, real estate brokers work for real estate agencies.  Agents turned into brokers overnight, and brokers turned into agencies.

 

  • We now must disclose to our clients, in writing, the commission we intend to share with a buyer’s broker (called a collaborating broker).  The disclosure states that an unreasonable sharing commission or remuneration could reduce a collaborating broker’s interest in proposing this property to their buyers.  

 

  • The conflict of interest rules are more stringent.  A real estate broker can no longer represent a seller if the broker intends to purchase that seller’s property.  And a real estate broker can no longer represent the buyer in the sale of the broker’s own property.

 

  • When a real estate broker decides to change agencies, the client who is already in a contract with that broker now has three choices: 1.  to follow the broker to the new agency; 2. to stay with the current agency, without the broker in question; or 3. to terminate the contract.  Previously, the client could not request to follow the broker to the new agency without first terminating their contract.  (The principle was that the client’s contract was with the agency, not the broker.  The broker merely represented the agency.)

 

  • We are now required to check the identity and legal capacity of the parties to a real estate transaction.  Previously, this was simply good practice.  Now it is a requirement.

 

  • We are now required to recommend to someone proposing to buy a property that they have it inspected by a building inspector or other professional.  Again, previously this was simply good practice.

 

  • The rules have been relaxed regarding the minimum amount of information that must go on advertising or any other representation by a broker or agency.  (Hooray!)

 

  • chalkboard with word "exam" written on itThe exam to obtain a real estate brokerage license or mortgage broker license has changed significantly.  Previously the exam was a multiple-choice format with a minimum passing grade for the exam as a whole.  Now, it is competency based, with minimum-pass requirements for each subject area, and apparently it is much more difficult.

 

  • The forms we use will continue to be used for the next 18 months, at which point new forms will come into effect.

 

  • Higher fees for real estate brokers!!  With all of these changes come increased annual dues, of course, and a requirement that license holders like me pay our professional liability insurance ourselves.  (My broker agency used to pay for it.)

Nota bene: I am NOT a lawyer, and the above information is not intended as legal advice.  This is my interpretation of the changes that have come, or are coming, into effect based on the information provided to date by our governing organization, the Organisme d’autoréglementation du courtage immobilier du Québec (OACIQ).

I will be formally trained in the new Real Estate Brokerage Act on July 13.  If I learn more about the changes then, I’ll of course share them here.

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Tanya Nouwens, June 29th 2010 | Posted in Real Estate, Uncategorized

Only in Quebec

Every summer when I was a kid, my parents would pack all 4 of us kids into the car and make the sweaty, stifling 18-hour trip from the east coast where we lived to London, Ontario, where we were born and our extended family lived. 

My parents somehow handled the sweating, and complaining, and boredom and unending roads extremely well. (Except for the time they forgot my brother at a rest stop, but after hours of therapy, we’re ready to let that one go.)

The only time they truly got frantic was when we passed through Montreal.  “Jean, watch the signs. WATCH THE SIGNS!  Oh for the love of God don’t let us get lost here… Jean!  Jean!  Was that the sign for the tunnel we just passed?  WAS THAT THE SIGN FOR THE TUNNEL!  Kids, shush I can’t think.  KIDS!  SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI!!!!  Oh Lord.  Not again.”

Getting lost in Montreal in the summer is not hard to do.  Because of our intense winters, road construction and repair can only take place from April to November.  So construction projects are jammed one atop another and the whole city is under siege in the spring and summer. 

Detour signs are aplenty…or there are none at all. 

Actual detour routes are only half marked…or not at all.

Lane changes are marked approximately 3.2 feet before the change MUST take place or your life is in jeopardy.  

And rather than remove detour signs from the road when the detour is no longer in effect, construction crews just sort of push them to the side.  We’re left to wonder, “Is that really a detour?  Is it sort of a detour?  Did it used to be a detour but it’s not anymore?” 

It’s like Quebec construction crews have taken a universal oath to mess with us to see how long it takes for the mice to lose their minds, find alternate 3-hour routes, or give up completely in a heaping, sobbing, cursing mess.

Two detour signs on street in Montreal West IslandHere’s a prime example of what I mean, seen in Montreal West Island.

Only in Quebec, my dears.

Strangely, it’s part of what I love about this crazy province.  Quirkiness is one of my favourite qualities…in people and places.

Welcome to summer : )

1 Comment

Tanya Nouwens, June 27th 2010 | Tags: , ,
Posted in Kirkland Quebec Happenings, Musings, Uncategorized

I sure love this guy.

When I was pregnant with our first child, I told my husband that I hoped the baby was a girl.  Not because I had always hoped to have a girl.  Quite the contrary.  As a child, I was always more comfortable building with Lego than having a tea party.  I was climbing trees while other girls were playing with Barbies.  I could relate more to boys than to girls in a lot of ways.

I hoped our first child would be a girl because my husband was so reserved emotionally.  I mean, the guy had never in his life EVER hugged one his guy friends.  It was knuckle crashing or nothing for him.  And he knew nothing about children or babies at all.  And I mean, NOT AT ALL.  I’m not sure he had ever held a baby in his life.  Or wanted to.

So I thought he’d find it easier to be the kind of hands-on, affectionate and loving father I had always dreamed of my children having if his first child was a baby girl.

I needn’t have worried.

When our first son, Tyler, was born, out of my husband’s soul came a dad who was fun, loving, sweet, gentle, kind, affectionate, caring, protective and did-I-mention?…FUN.  Tyler was followed by Zachary, who recently aptly put it: “Daddy is fun and cool, and Mommy is comfy-cozy.”

Man holding his two sonsHe was always meant to be a father.  And I guess we both knew it.  And both of his sons, and their mom, are fuller human beings because of it.

Richard, my love, what would we do without you?  You are our rock, and our rock band leader : )  You are the big bear hug every family needs.  You are a shining example of the type of strong yet gentle, kind yet purposeful, devoted yet fun-loving man of integrity, passion and principle that every boy should have for a father…and every woman should be lucky enough to call her husband.

I’m so glad I married you.

I’m even gladder I had babies with you. 

Happy Father’s Day, my love.

1 Comment

Tanya Nouwens, June 20th 2010 | Tags:
Posted in Musings

Adding Some Life to a Home: Montreal Home Staging Before and After Pictures

I’ve got some Montreal home staging before and after pictures for you here.  These come from a Montreal West Island home staging project we recently did.  The home sold after 6 weeks on the market, which was great considering it was in the $500,000+ range where homes generally take longer to sell. 

It was another real estate agent’s listing, but I was happy to stage it because the homeowner was the mother of my very first client as a Montreal home stager. 

The home was essentially vacant, as the homeowner spent very little time there.  It needed a bit of PERSONALITY and LIFE.

I like to give each bedroom in a home a personality of its own.  I think it helps potential buyers remember them: “Remember the one with the funky green art on the wall?”  

With the inundation of information in everyone’s life, anything we can do to help potential buyers differentiate our listing/home from everything else they see has gotta help, no? 

More to come later on the main living spaces…

In the meantime, feel free to visit my web-site for some more home staging Montreal before and after pictures.

Bed and window

Hello? Anyone home?

Master Bedroom

A little more panache.

Ensuite bathroom

Completely renovated but...

Ensuite bathroom

A few finishing touches and voila!

Bedroom with bed and window

A little bland...

Bedroom with bed and window

Still soft but pulled together.

Bedroom with bed and window

Big room with little personality.

Bedroom with bed and window

A bit of colour brings this room to life.

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Tanya Nouwens, June 17th 2010 | Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Home Staging

I’m Listening…

I love it when I hear a non-salesy, common-sensical approach to gaining business.  ‘Cause I’m not salesy at all.  Never have been, never will be.  I tried to be salesy once, working in a clothing store to help put myself through university.  I ended up stalking the client who said she didn’t want my help throughout the store, pretending to be fixing the clothes on the racks near her.  She knew what I was doing…and ran away.  Then I ran away too.

I’m now a Montreal real estate broker and Montreal home stager, but I’m still not salesy.  And I have no intention of ever being that way.  To me, buying and selling a home is just too much of a life-altering event to be “sold” to.

In my quest to continually learn how to be a better Montreal real estate broker, though, I went to ActiveRain University yesterday and listened to Jared James, a real estate coach, talk about listing presentations.  In real estate school, we were told that listing presentations generally happen this way:

1.  Consumer calls you and says they’re thinking about selling their home. You ask them questions about their property and make an appointment to come by and give your listing presentation, including your assessment of the value of the property.

2.  In the meantime, you do research on comparables that have sold in the area, and active listings on the market right now, and prepare your comparative market analysis (CMA).

3. You show up at their home at the scheduled time, wow them with your listing presentation (how you will sell their house and what sets you apart from all the rest), and then go through the CMA with them, concluding with your estimate of the market value of their home.

This has never made sense to me.  How can you do an adequate CMA when you haven’t even seen the inside of the home?

Dog with big ears extendedYou don’t have to.  And you shouldn’t.  And it’s not just because you won’t have all of the information you need to do a really good CMA.

When you show up to do a listing presentation, the homeowner inevitably takes you through the house, describing the updates that were done, the planned updates they didn’t get a chance to do, the gorgeous Corian they installed in the kitchen, the basement wall with the hockey puck scars, the gorgeous wood floors they installed themselves, the garden planted with love 5 years ago, how nice it is to have coffee in the morning on the deck, etc.

And if you let them do this, and then sit down at the table with them with your CMA already completed, you’re telling them that all of the things they have just told you do not make one iota of difference to you.  That what they say doesn’t matter because all you have to do is pull numbers off of a computer.

This is one of the reasons why, as a Montreal real estate broker and Montreal home stager, I’ve never sat down with a fully completed CMA on the first visit with a homeowner. 

And it’s nice to hear that the way I’m doing it makes sense, even if it’s not the way I was taught in school.  Thank you, Jared James.

6 Comments

Tanya Nouwens, June 8th 2010 | Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Real Estate
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